the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't deserve a penis
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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