He uses pillows to masturbate.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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