we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
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If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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