where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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