I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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