Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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