What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
