I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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