I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
