so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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