Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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