im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I had to cum in my sink.
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