i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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