I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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