I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
