Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
