My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
