He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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