my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
