I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Randomize
