Will you blow on my dice?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
COCAINE IS GR8
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
