Im at strip club and am horny
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
