My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After tacos, we're chasing women.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
