idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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