The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
