great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
