The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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