ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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