he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
