Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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