Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have aggressive nipples.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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