so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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