I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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