I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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