how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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