I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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