I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
