just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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