You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
