Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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