She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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