I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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