dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
