please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize