The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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