I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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