uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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