I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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