you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
