Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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