So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize