Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize