grandma shit on top of the toilet
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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