Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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