2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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