I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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