did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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